Happy Holidays!

A little Christmas-themed e-mail humor...















December 1st
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Idaho Chuck's Steakhouse. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols. Feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our Director shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director


December 2nd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director



December 3rd
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts exchange-- no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patty Lewis, Human Researchers Director


December 7th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table.

Happy now?

Patty Lewis, Human Racehorses Director


December 9th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our Director to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit."

Patty Lewis, Human Ratraces


December 10th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Vegetarians -- I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this party
at Idaho Chuck's whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now... Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

The Witch from Hell


December 14th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from
her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

Good News from Afghanistan, and Islam is in the News Again!

Good news from Kandahar, and it comes from the New York Times...

Coalition Routs Taliban in Southern Afghanistan

ARGHANDAB, Afghanistan — American and Afghan forces have been routing the Taliban in much of Kandahar Province in recent weeks, forcing many hardened fighters, faced with the buildup of American forces, to flee strongholds they have held for years, NATO commanders, local Afghan officials and residents of the region said. 

In other news, NPR fired intellectually-honest liberal Juan Williams for stating the obvious about Muslim terrorism...

NPR said in a statement that Williams's remarks - including that he gets "worried" and "nervous" when he sees people dressed in Muslim-style clothing on airplanes - "were inconsistent with our editorial standards and practices, and undermined his credibility as a news analyst with NPR."

What morons.  I think it simply makes him smarter than the average liberal.  Meanwhile, right here in the good ol' US of A, here's what a Muslim citizen has been up to...

A 20-year-old Bristow man pleaded guilty Wednesday to aiding the Somali terrorist organization al-Shabaab.

Chesser admitted that he encouraged attacks on the creators of the television show "South Park" for mocking the prophet Muhammad on their show. He also pleaded guilty to soliciting others to try to desensitize law enforcement by putting suspicious-looking, but harmless, packages in public places. Chesser admitted that he twice tried to go to Somalia to join al-Shabaab as a fighter, and once took his infant son to the airport to avoid detections.

Did you get that last part?

He also pleaded guilty to soliciting others to try to desensitize law enforcement by putting suspicious-looking, but harmless, packages in public places.

Chesser admitted that he ... once took his infant son to the airport to avoid detections.

This is insidious,using our political correctness and stupid liberal guilt against us.

Juan Williams is right!  And taxpayer-funded NPR is WRONG!

We cannot pray in publicly-funded schools because it would supposedly violate the First Amendment freedom of religion rights of those who don't believe in prayer.  Based upon that screwed up liberal illogic, NPR violated Juan Williams' right to free speech under the same amendment to the US Constitution.

For a sickening dose of what the hooting loonies in Left Blogistan really think of black people, Go Here:

This guy may have a black skin, but I have insisted for years that he is nothing but Rush Limbaugh in a monkey suit.

The author of that statement is a sick stain on humanity...

This is why liberals can never be trusted to run anything.  

They can't think straight and they must rely on bureaucratic rules and progressive judges to cram their we-say-so-ism down everyone's throats.  They scream a blue streak about Christians trying to impose a theocracy, while denying real threats exist, like a quantifiable, ever-growing debt, and Muslim extremists who publish videos clearly stating they hate America and want to destroy us.   

The lala land liberals would do well to read some Churchill:

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last.
-- Winston Churchill

No Apologies

Cinco de Mayo culture clashes are a sad result of letting angry, America-hating leftists indoctrinate our immigrants into a culture of nursed grievances and passive-aggressive agitprop. 

Instead of assimilating them into America's melting pot, fringe elements are recruiting them as foot soldiers of international progressivism, with the help of guilty multiculturist handmaidens who infest our public institutions.

High School students who were kicked off campus for wearing American flag apparel on Cinco de Mayo, have flatly refused to apologize.  Good for them.  

"I think they should apologize cause it is a Mexican Heritage Day," Annicia Nunez, a Live Oak High student, said. "We don't deserve to be get disrespected like that. We wouldn't do that on Fourth of July."

As for an apology, the boys and their families say, 'fat chance.' (NBC-Bay Area)

The "aggrieved" little self-entitlement girls and boys need to get over it.  (and their ignorance is stunning:  Of our constitutional rights, as well as their ignorance of what Cinco de Mayo really is)  Somebody needs to inform this little girl that this is America, not some third world hell-hole where people riot and kill one another over being "disrespected."

The American flag and other patriotic symbols are NEVER out of place anywhere in the United States of America.  Got it, little girly?  And we are damned tolerant of chintzy third-world trinkets and paraphernalia here as well, so get over it. 

The Political Correctness Guilt Trip Ain't Workin' Anymore
Tom Bevan at RCP says it way better than me, and puts this in broader context.  We are fed up with this PC crap!  Every time some "oppressed minority*" is "offended*" we are supposed to bow down in hushed, repentant silence .

The fact is, Americans are increasingly fed up with the racially divisive, politically correct insanity pulsating through the country today. After years of being pressured and browbeaten by the left-wing PC police about what they can say, do, think, and wear, many Americans have had enough. And they're especially furious with being asked to apologize for things that aren't or shouldn't be in the least bit offensive.

Call me racist, jingoistic, I don't care.  This is America, I am proud of my country, and if some are offended by American patriotism they can go to hell, or better yet, go back to the primitive toilet they crawled out of.

* - We have no oppressed minorities in this country.  The credentialed professions and the halls of power are sprinkled liberally with a rainbow of diversity, and rightly so.  No one race, creed, color or gender is superior to another, and we recognize that here in America, which is unique among the countries of the world.

* - There is no right to not be offended in America.  Just ask Christians who have had their holy symbols dunked in urine and sculpted in elephant dung, all to great applause from the liberal cognoscenti and the press.

Here's a good editorial on the subject